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BLAIR WITCH


On 6th December 2003 the first team were at home to Waltham Abbey 'A' in the 2nd round of the Jubilee Cup. The opposition were from Division three and were unbeaten in all games so far that season. They came with an attitude and a belief that they could compete with a team from the Premier, so much so that they were giving it large on the pitch as well. At 1-1 after thirty minutes and the game very easily balanced the banter in the middle of the park went up a notch, especially between Rudy and a great lump of a guy in the midfield. He was built for the job and had obviously tormented opposing teams from Division Three all season, but he had not met Steve Rudolph!!

A couple of tackles flew in between the pair, and yellow cards were being dished out, it seemed, every two minutes, with one for Rudy and four for the opposition, including the lump in the middle for Waltham Abbey. With honours fairly even on the bad tackle count the guy decided to get personal and the banter went xxx rated. He thought, much to his misery for the rest of the game, that Rudy was easy meat.

It came to a head when they faced up to one another. Rudy promised the lump a visit to the local woods. He remarked that two would be walking into the woods, him and the lump, but only one would be walking out. What he promised the lump during their time in the woods can't be repeated, it had something to do with limbs, weapons and wheelchairs. Suffice to say, Rudy's remarks to the lump seemed to put him off. He went quiet for the rest of the game, staying away from Rudy as much as he could. When they did meet everyone could see he had lost his bottle and every time a crunching tackle came in on the guy, the rest of the team told him he had just been 'Blair Witched'.

Tackle after tackle flew in on the poor lump and each time he lay there in the dirt, a Warner player would remind him of the local woods nearby. He was being laughed at and humiliated at every opportunity. By the end of the game the poor lump was a quivering wreck, and the Warner players were asking the oppositions manager to sub him before he curled up into a foetal position and just gave up on life.

After this game the club applied to the local council to have the few trees standing by the side of our home pitch renamed 'Blair Witch Copse', until they can plant a few more of course and so rename it a wood!